Just Desserts...or...They Had it Coming

I couldn't decide on a title for this blog because there are so many quips I could have used to describe the content of this post. I was afraid that "Just Desserts" might be thought of as, like, we are serving "just desserts" at our Super Bowl party, rather than it's intended "he'll get his just desserts". Also, only saying "they had it coming" could have been mistaken for an amazon package on it's way.
Either way, today's topic came to mind because I have been studying the life and times of Jesus, from the culture and geography to the traditions and history. In my studies I discovered some very interesting tidbits regarding Herod the Great; more specifically, tidbits regarding his death.
If anyone had it coming it was Herod.
Herod the murderer. Herod the blasphemer. Herod the dictator, tyrant, sycophant...the list of his criminal titles could go on and on! This is the Herod who had three of his sons executed because he felt threatened by them, who had his wife, Meriamne, killed because he thought she might be planning an affair. This is the Herod who, on his deathbed, corralled hundreds of Israel's favorite men to be executed at the moment of his death so Israel would grieve instead of rejoice the day. This is also the Herod that had Bethlehem's baby boys, aged two and under, murdered so he could extinguish the hope of Jesus' kingship.
Really, there are no words to describe how wicked and evil this man was. Only few men in history have elevated their deeds to Herodian levels, and these are the men that no one names their kids after: Antiochus Epiphanes, Nero, Stalin, Hitler...all brutal, savage, murderous. evil.
You may be interested to know that Herod's death mirrored how he lived his life: grotesque and demoralizing.
As history records it, "disease consumed him, painful symptoms wracked his entire body in pain. He only a slight fever, but his skin itched terribly all over. His intestines hurt all the time, his feet and abdomen were swollen, and his genitals were rotting with gangrene, which had become infested with maggots. Beside all this he had trouble breathing and couldn't breath at all when he sat up." (War of the Jews, Josephus)
I'm sorry, maybe it is unkind and unmerciful, but I just can't bring myself to feel sorry for the dude; even if his boy parts were covered with maggots (some attribute that a result of gonorrhea).
Another who had a rather ungentlemanly death is Joseph Stalin. According to wikipedia he was found on the floor in his room, soaked in stale urine and mumbling unintelligibly. They diagnosed him with a cerebral hemorrhage (stroke) caused by hypertension (high blood pressure), with stomach hemorrhage facilitating.^[307] He was treated in his dacha with leeches, as was customary at the time.^[308] On March 3 his double Felix Dadaev was called back from vacation to Moscow "to be ready to stand in for Stalin if needed", but he never needed to. On March 4 Stalin's illness was broadcast in the media with surprising detail such as pulse, blood pressure and urinalysis; for convenience the time of his stroke was said to be March 2 and his location as Moscow. The bedridden Stalin died on 5 March 1953, at the age of 74.^[1]

Obviously Herod had it worse, yeah, but he didn't get off quite as easy as some other villains. Hitler and Nero both committed suicide. That just don't seem right...where's the justice in a quick offing with a sword or a gun?
So what's with all the history lessons here? Well, as I was considering Herod and his wickedness I found within me this...gladness...to see that he suffered horribly at his death. Does that make me bad? I'm sure it's not all christiany to say it, but there is a big part of me that wants to see people paid back for the wrong that they do.
I have a tremendous need for JUSTICE! Perhaps that comes from that little-girl place in me that wants to be defended and protected; the little girl that wants to know the bad guys will get punished. I have a need to know that good will win and bad will lose.
Years ago Ted Bundy was wreaking havoc. Perhaps you'll remember him...the serial rapist and murderer who brutalized and terrorized the country in the 1970's by killing nearly 30 young women. This man was so evil that he would return to the bodies left in the wilderness to rot, and perform acts with their corpses. I shudder to even think of this man's evil deeds. Yet, in a recorded conversation with James Dobson, before his execution in January of 1989, Ted Bundy said he was a born-again Christian.
So, Ted Bundy is in heaven right now.
Where is the justice in that?
How does it seem like we can trust the God who promises to protect and defend us, when the bad guy goes to heaven? Is God less good because he let the bad in? Is His justice system flawed when the evil in the world are succeeding and the good, Jesus-following Christians are being murdered in their churches and homes?

There was a time not long ago that I was having a bit of a fit in my car. I mean, I was having myself a bawl-baby fit! I was crying out to the Lord and asking Him why things had to be so hard, and why can't life be a bit easier (let me be clear...I am WELL aware that my life is super awesome and blessed, especially in contrast to those in the middle east). It wasn't pretty, and it was really quite petty; nonetheless I was having a fit. It was in the middle of my pity party that the Lord spoke to my heart saying, "why do you expect life to be heaven when you aren't there yet?"
That's it. God made us "with eternity in our hearts" (Ecclesiastes 3:11) and we are heavenly minded; we are longing for the perfection of heaven in a corrupt and wicked world. It's not going to be perfect here. Jesus told us that: "in this world you will have trouble, but take heart, for I have overcome the world." (John 16:33)
So is God's justice system flawed because evil succeeds?
 No.
 His justice has been put on hold - at least in the way that he will manage trouble makers in the future...with an iron rod!
In the meantime we get glimpses of his perfect justice, like when child abusers are found out and punished and when serial rapists are unveiled and their reputation is ruined; when terrorists and dictators are discovered and their punishment is mete out.
I trust God's justice and I trust his timing...and I know that I may not see the fullness of either until heaven, but until then I cling to the promise that he makes regarding his character:
"The Lord, the Lord, the compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness, maintaining love to a thousand generations, forgiving wickedness, rebellion and sin; yet does not leave the guilty unpunished..." (Exodus 34:6-7)
Herod, with the way he died, got to sample a bit of God-sized justice...can you imagine how he is now suffering?
So now, thinking back to Ted Bundy, the only thing I can think to say is we either believe in Amazing Grace or Cheap Grace. Cheap Grace is what we might believe in if we have to be on our best behavior and earn our place in heaven through good deeds - with the final push through the door from the cross. It's the grace that limits the forgiveness of God to human standards and human understanding. It's the grace that tells young women not to have abortions and then shuns and shames the single mother. You-gotta-earn-it grace is cheap.
Then there is Amazing Grace...the grace the forgives and saves the murderers, the liars, the rapists, the tribal natives that spear the missionaries, the devil-worshiping rocker, the Nazi guard who terrorized their Jewish captives. Amazing Grace is the grace that makes a known sinner fall at the feet of Jesus and wash his feet with her tears; it's the grace that makes the worst of humanity a lover of the Savior of humanity.
Who am I to be mad that Ted Bundy got saved? Aren't I a sinner saved by grace too?
We all had it coming...but because of Jesus we who believe will not receive our just desserts; instead we will receive a enormous heaping a GRACE!

A Godly Response to Jerks

First of all, I realize "jerk" is probably a 90's word, because I don't hear it much anymore; usually I hear more choice words of an inflammatory nature, especially when referring to women. All that aside, this blog post is dedicated to the people in our lives that make life a little more difficult, uncomfortable and downright poopy.

My Jerk is a woman I have worked with for many years now. We are both instructors with well attended classes and good followings; all important for a successful fitness career. She came to the job a few years after me and I welcomed her with open arms...I tend to view new people as potential new best friends. I like people.
It didn't take long before I realized that I was not going to be BFFs with this instructor. Her body language, eye contact, and words said as much. Once I invited her to coffee to see if there was anything I had done to her to warrant her cold indifference and she alluded to feeling that I treated her like competition. It's probably true. I do struggle with pride and I don't like it if I feel less-than someone else. Perhaps I put off an air of comparison/competitive arrogance...(shrug). Either way, I tried to be super nice to her. Man, I really went out of my way to ask her about her family, her classes, her life; short, terse, one-word replies.
Cozy.
Fast forward a year. This woman had been given the task of helping with a program at our gym and I found out about it from our supervisor. Intrigued by new possibilities, I asked the woman about her vision for the program and she chewed me out. Like, seriously, bit off my head, chewed for a few minutes, then stuck it back on.
I had no business asking such questions, apparently.
Well, I can't say I responded well. I wasn't mean, you know, but I did stick up for myself. The problem is that I know what my body language looks like when I'm angry (I've watched my angry self in the mirror before, haven't you?) so I am certain that my attempts at not being wretched were thwarted by my pinched face and flashing eyes.
Later, I called to apologize and to find out why she continued to not like me, in spite of my niceness. Her answer? I didn't say her name when I say hi.
Wha???
Yep, that's right. Me saying, "Hey there!" or "Hey you!" or "Hi, how's it going?" showed irreconcilable disrespect.
Wha???
For a while I tried to remember to always pronounce her name in my welcomes, but after a while I realized that it wasn't fixing anything. Really, I think she only got worse. She officially became that person you think of when you hear the word: JERK.
So what do you do when there is a jerk in your life, and you really don't like them, but you want to be godly? It's tricky!
I really want to know what Jesus would do in this predicament. He had lots of jerks messing with him, you know. Seriously, everywhere Jesus went a Jerk was sure to go.
First, let's establish who Jesus' jerks were: the Pharisees and Saducees. They were the religious leaders, raised to study and keep the laws of God. They were the ones who would follow Jesus, conspiring together to try to trip him up so he'd look a fool to the people and lose his following. They worked very hard to take him down a notch (i.e. get him killed), but every time Jesus responded to these jerk-faces in such a way that they were left speechless. So what did Jesus do...did he "kill them with kindness" as we are often told to do? Probably, we are told to turn the other cheek, forgive as we have been forgiven, answer harshness with a soft reply...but, I noticed Jesus did something a little different while doing all that.
Jesus told it like it was.
Just a cursory glance through the gospels shows us a number of times Jesus had face-offs with the religious leaders, in each instance the Lord was not like, "Oh, I shouldn't say this because they might respond badly", or " I'm just going to sit here quietly and take their abuse and hope they go away". No, Jesus wasn't a pantie-waist mamby pamby. He spoke forcefully and truthfully, but it was all with the purpose of bringing about repentance.
Examples:
He called out hypocrisy (Mark 12:13-17)
He pointed out the false teachings they'd believed in (Mark 12:18-27)
He showed them the evil intent in their hearts (Mark 12:1-12)
He taught them the truth of God's word and called attention to their hard heartedness and pride (Mark 10:1-12)
He refused to argue with them (Mark 8:11-13)

   I don't think this gives us permission to use our tongue like a filet knife whenever we feel someone is being mean, no way. What it does do is gives us permission to "speak the truth in love".
What?
Okay, say there is a jerk lurking about in your life...you can't get away from said-jerk because of one reason or another: family member, co-worker, neighbor, school mate. What if you were to do like Jesus and say it like it is?
You are wrong to treat my children that way.
It hurts me when you talk to me like that.
Your decision to do that was wrong and I will not be held responsible.
I am going to walk away, because I will not be a part of this conversation.

Here is the caveat though....if you just can't wait to see that person again so you can lay into them some good ol' "truth in love"? Don't do it. Telling someone the truth about their jerkiness is not so you can one-up them; it's so they can see their sin and repent.
If that is not your primary motivation in saying it like it is, then keep your mouth shut. In that case do something else that Jesus did: leave.

I Don't Think God Likes Me

Last night I was having one of those conversations with my 7th grade daughter. You know...the kind I have been warned would be coming; the kind with all the deep questions that most people don't want to answer. Maybe I am weird, but I LOVE those conversations! Go ahead, ask me about sex and boys and popularity and God and hell and stuff...BRING IT!
I like to go deep...talk about deep things that really matter, so this was my kind of convo.
At one point we were talking about the way God puts boundaries around our lives in order to spare us from hurt, pain and regret. It was at this point that my daughter said, "yeah, he looks at me and can't wait to (pushes a finger into the top of the bed) go Squish!"
I wanted to say, "Nu-uh! God is so not like that!" but then it occurred to me that I used to think that way too. So I told her as much.
"You know, I used to think that God was just waiting for me to mess up too, but then I learned that he's much nicer than that."
And it's true, He is much nicer than that. In Psalm 50:21 God says, "You thought I was altogether like you", because we often think that He is just like the people who can be mean, vindictive, punishing and abusive - only He's bigger and older. But God shows us through His word that He's so much different than us - so unlike us.
I know there have been times I've waited for my kids to screw up; sometimes it was because I couldn't wait to try out a new discipline technique. But I admit, I've done it. I've grown so weary of chronic bad behavior from them I do come down hard and unforgiving. Have my kids seen my past harshness and relate it the way they think God is? Maybe. Upon further deep thinking on the matter; knowing that this is an area many people struggle with, I don't think the perceived harshness and fear of reprisal is the main issue. I think we wonder, deep down inside, "Does God like me?"
I know, I know, the Bible says "God is love" - you bet. Does He like me? The Bible says "He is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness" (Exodus 34:6-7), but does he like me?
I have experienced first hand the love-you-don't-like-you phenomenon. You know, those family members who "love" you because you are family, but they don't have any desire to hang out? You know, those friends and church family people who "love you in the Lord", but have never bothered to have a conversation with you or invite you to dinner, or treat you with out-of-sight-out-of-mind indifference? (Is it just me?)
Man, I want to be liked. I want people to think I am funny, to want to spend time with me and to be interested in me as a person.
So, with that in mind, does God like me...and how would I even know since it's not like I can reach out and throw my arm around his shoulder.
It all centers around "delight".
Years ago I asked the Lord to do something that would delight me...I mean, really knock my socks off and let me know He's thinking about me and delights in me. After I finished praying I felt in my inner self (my spirit) the Lord saying, "Go sweep the back porch". Wha???
So, I went out and swept the back porch and as I was sweeping the broom struck something big and clunky...a rock. I reached down and picked up the rock, turned it in my hand, and saw a heart. A rock shaped into a heart which had somehow made it's way onto my back porch. I began to weep. It seems so small - and could be cast off as coincidental (if you believe in that sort of thing); for me it was a gift...a token of how much God likes me.
Since that time the Lord has presented me with heart rocks everywhere I go: mission trips, speaking events, conferences, vacations etc. I have a big jar full of them.

Some, like the one in this picture from India, couldn't come home with me, but were just as thrilling to find.

I am convinced that the Lord wants to show each one of us that he not only loves us, but he really does like us too. Why don't you ask Him to show you, in your own special way, that He likes you; then be ready for it!

Full Throttle Worship

The following is a repost from last year's mission trip:

A few days ago I returned to the states from the Dominican Republic. I've been on a mission trip sharing the gospel, teaching the bible and helping with a Festival sponsored the by Reid Saunders Association. This is my fourth trip in the last four years with RSA and, to be perfectly honest, I was not terribly excited to go.
Don't get me wrong...I love mission trips, I love serving the Lord by serving others and I was pumped up about doing both. But, I'd been in a really dry place lately with my relationship with the Lord...my worship had been subdued, my prayers had been lame and I was sort of, well, kind of like a wrinkled raisin...just, meh.
As I arrived in the DR I spent a morning in quiet study and prayer, just begging the Lord to revive my heart and ignite my passion about him. I really resonated with the verse in Psalms that takes about "the leanness of the soul"...I wanted my soul to put on some weight; get all fat and juicy!
Well, baby, I was about 5 minutes into the worship and praise part of the Women's Conference that I was to teach, being led in worship by a Dominican "Mandisa" when my soul stirred. Oh, how it stirred, then danced, then leaped about!
These women, these beautiful, big-voiced, passionate Dominican women raised their hands, swayed their hips and sang like angels at the top of their lungs. It was incredible. It was amazing. It was soul-satisfying. You see, I am a big-voiced, hip-swaying, passionate American living in the quiet; living in the sit-still. I didn't realize how quenched I had been in worship until, suddenly, my soul was fat and juicy with it.
Then came the piece-de-resistance! I got up and sang with my Dominican Madisa-like friend Mikal. We sang Revelation Song; she in Spanish, me in English. It was amazing, sacred really. It was full throttle worship and the Lord smiled, and I was satisfied.